Just the two of us
Monday, November 16, 2009
Trying to work this all out in my mind
As we all know for the last little while I have been dealing with anxiety and depression. One of the aspects of it that is really hard for me to work through is when there are quotes from prophets and apostles about how through faith and being determined to not give into Satan one can overcome depression. Mix that with the concept that depression is not understood completely mixed with the idea that it is a chemical imbalance that can't be overcome without medication any more that cancer can and it is a lot to try and figure out. One one hand I like the idea of believing that through faith I can conquer this and not have any problems with it ever again but since I have been unable to do that I wonder about the strength of my faith. On the other hand I have to admit that I feel better taking medication-granted very sleepy but better. But I don't like thinking that with my little happy white pill I can't function in society. So where does that leave me? I feel stuck in the middle (does anyone else get the old commercial for Chips Ahoy cookies sandwiches stuck in their head when you hear that phrase?). Today I am feeling okay overall-I overslept and that always makes me feel fuzzy all day and I am fighting a headache so these aren't thoughts that are based on me feeling down. It is just hard to balance and not feel bad for choosing the treatment option that I have chosen.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Kristelle - Faith is one thing but you have to remember that there are medications and treatments to help you, which doesn't mean you have less faith because you choose treatments. You can have faith that the treatments and medications available will help and/or faith that new treatments will be discovered that will help if what is available now doesn't help. Not that I am implying in anyway that you don't have faith now, because I really think you do. I just don't think you should ever feel bad about needing medication for depression or anxiety. It would be so much easier if these issues were more understood by the general public but as you said it's a chemical imbalance. It's a medical problem for many and often can not just be erased by faith and pray without action, which in many cases is with help and medication.
ReplyDeleteKristelle, I love how open you are with your thoughts and feelings on your blog. I just want you to know that I know where you are coming from with this post. I have social anxiety disorder and have battled with my decisions to take and then not take medicine over the past seven years. So...if you ever need someone to talk to about it or just vent to a little bit, I'm here!
ReplyDeleteI have some of the same feelings you do. I have been having problems with anxiety since Jeremy and I got married. high hormones (like in birth control) make my anxiety almost uncontrollable. I have stuggled many years with medications. I go on and off because they always stop working for me. I have chosen the medication route because I have found that mine is mostly chemical imbalance. Remember that Heavenly Father helped create these medicinces for a reason. Have faith in those that are trying to help you and realize that we all need some help. If you need to talk call me anytime. I love you.
ReplyDelete